storm

storminator
read my profile sign my guestbook Name: Storm Birthday: 4/5/1982 Gender: Male Message: message me AIM: polosp03 Member Since: 9/13/2003

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Monday, July 10, 2006


	2:08 AM - 41 views - 4 eprops - 4 comments - email it

Monday, May 15, 2006

Grad Day

Waiting w/ all the cool philosophy grads...

Action shot...

they made me jump off a chair.

i regained my dignity with my landing...

chris and matt came too, i was too lazy 2 post more pics...
(thanks 4 the pics nourah)

i was seriously thinking about not walking, people literally had to talk me into doing it, but i'm glad i did. it was a perfect day. Thanks to everyone who came, you guys are awesome.

I still have 2 finals left, both on tuesday. fun. (yes for some friggin reason berkeley sched.'s grad dates during - and before - finals)

after that, i'll be back in so cal (fullerton to be exact) to start work, i'm going to be doing hospital billing with bernard while i work on my lsats, i'm really looking fwd to it.

berkeley peeps, i'll be back, this summer even, and definately to come back for football games and all your grad dates next year...

so cal peeps, i'll be seein u soon!

12:42 AM - 17 views - 26 eprops - 14 comments - email it

Monday, April 10, 2006

You were the only person who made me feel like …

Getting better is for suckers

No, why would I want to do that

It’s so easy just letting life live long,

Long and hard

Feeling better is for losers

No, why would I want to go past

It’s so much better, being bested by bitterness

Sharp and sour

Being strong? Fighting on?

No, why would I want to try and push

It’s just so nice, sinking slowly in solitude

Better to be alone

Why fold my arms when it’s cold

Better to let it be cold

Better to be alone,

Why cry when I’m sad?

Better to hold it in

It’s a faint memory, but it’s still there

Better to be locked, kept away

Regret is for winners

You always get your prize,

It’s just so peaceful, pulling, piercing past perspective

It’s just better to be alone

Then I won’t have to listen to THEM tell me

They say it’s better to get better,

But I’d disagree,

I say it’s better to be alone,

Better to walk as a clone

Time to play the lying game, just give people what they want

Better to hide behind everything that people can’t see past

Better to lay the layers on thick, so that no one can tell

Soon you’ll think its better

Everyone will get what they want

And I’ll get to live in peace, in a better place, all to myself.

You know, right now,

I’d just rather be alone,

I don’t want to be with anyone else …

And no one will ever read this,

Because no one will ever be allowed to know,

Anything about me,

Ever again

2:07 AM - 1 view - email it

Saturday, March 25, 2006

	Good Times...
	2:52 AM - 4 views - 4 eprops - 2 comments - email it

Monday, February 27, 2006

Sun, 14 Aug 2005 03:40:17 -0700

Someone once mentioned to me, that being in a relationship just didn’t seem to make sense. From what she saw in other relationships, people basically just end up getting hurt. Being in a relationship is like volunteering to be completely vulnerable to someone else. Why would anyone choose to do that?

Having been single for so long, I really couldn’t say. When I entered my first relationship, I had ignorance on my side to make the decision easier. But now that I’m older, wiser and more experienced, I too understand the risk one takes, and I also understand the hesitation to be vulnerable.

I’ve based my philosophy of life on the importance of relationships, yet so much of my security comes from my ability to control all that I feel effects my emotions. I’m independent, non reliant, self sufficient in my growth and existence. Really, why would I trust all that, to someone else. Why would I trade my confident security, for a blinded vulnerable state, that’s completely unknown?

In truth though, are we not all in a blinded vulnerable state? Our independence and security, is built on the foundation of life. Life, probably the most unknown, unpredictable, mysterious, inexplicable thing known to man. Anyone who thinks, or over thinks for that matter, that life is something that can be controlled, made predictable and safe, is just one crazy swing from being extremely disappointed. But then again, perhaps security can be had, one needs only to remove that variable, life.

The truth is, to be vulnerable is not the same thing as being careless, reckless, or foolish. To allow oneself to be vulnerable, I think, is to accept all truth, good and bad, and sometimes, that truth hurts, sometimes that truth is the most beautiful experience imaginable, but to see the truth, to live, one must first be willing to remove the filter.

Whether we have a filter over love, or striving for our dream job, or just choosing to be who we really are, it’s all the same. To truly strive for something, one doesn’t need to be careless, or reckless, or foolish, but one must be willing to accept the possibility of failure, to see all of the possible good, and bad, the truth, and simply say that it’s worth it. And to do that, to strive for something that one wants so bad, is to also face the possibility that despite one’s best efforts, one might fail. And to do that, is to be vulnerable. To brave failure, and realize that while failing and succeeding, one is still experiencing a life that has not yet written it’s final page.

Perhaps on that final page, one might not count the successes and failures in one’s life, but simply appreciate how much life was lived, and how much truth was realized. In the end, I don’t think that life is about security at all. What life IS about though, really is up to us. One thing that CAN be known though, is that each of us will eventually have to write that final page, read it, and accept it.

In the mean time, I wish everyone well in filling out the their pages day to day, and hope that the process is a mindful one.

To truly understand and recognize a man, one must be able to see his failures as his greatest successes.

I came to this realization about vulnerability tonight, while I was thinking about you. I thought, why would anyone put themselves at the risk of being in a relationship. Why would someone take their heart from the secure safe, deep within themselves, and place it in the hands of someone else.

I guess for me, it’s because you’ve found a way to touch my heart with those hands of yours, as much as I tried to keep them away, you somehow managed to get through. My heart won’t forget that it’s happiest in your hands. As much as my mind tells me that it’s better to keep my heart just where it is, my heart would rather just be in your hands. It would rather jump out of a plane, than know that it passed on the opportunity to spend a day with you, it would rather sit in silence studying for a test it’s probably not going to take than know that it passed up a chance to be near you, it would train everyday to run a marathon if that meant that it was assured one more day in the future to see you, it would even convince itself that it doesn’t need you to hold it, even if it can just be close enough to know that you’re happy.

I really don’t care what it’s going to be like to have to pick my heart up from the ground if you ever drop it. As long as I could look back and know that I did everything I could to give your heart the happiness that you’ve already given mine.

being vulnerable is putting your heart in the hands of someone you care for and trust, and sleeping well, knowing that there’s no where else you’d rather have it.

Goodnight = )

storm

-----------------------------------------------------

The bottom of my heart is stained with tears

Because crying is the only way I can be close to you again

You were the only person who ever made me feel like I wasn’t

Alone

The Heart Of The Matter Lyrics

by Don Henley

I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear

But I knew that it would come

An old true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone

She said you found someone

And I thought of all the bad luck,

And the struggles we went through

And how I lost me and you lost you

What are these voices outside love's open door

Make us throw off our contentment

And beg for something more?

I'm learning to live without you now

But I miss you sometimes

The more I know, the less I understand

All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter

But my will gets weak

And my thoughts seem to scatter

But I think it's about forgiveness

Forgiveness

Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

8:00 AM - 1 view - email it

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